So I’ve been in Los Angeles now for just under a month and I’ve noticed a couple of things. At the top of the list is something which has really taken me by surprise and that is (at least thus far) I seem to be more concerned and focused on being observant than many of my Jewish “by birth” friends and acquaintances. Now back home it was the same way but I just chalked that up to the fact that I belonged to a reform community where the patterns of observance where for the most part weekend warrior?s although there certainly were some exceptions. Here the people I associate with are certainly not reform, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if a few them were to take issue with being labeled as such. However to be honest most of the people I hang out with our newly engaged Jews, meaning that they were not raised in observant families. I would say that most of them have for whatever reason decided as adults to engage or reengaged with their Jewish identity be it spiritual or cultural and in this case most of them are somehow associated with or participating at a Chabad center.

It’s not like I’m hanging out with a bunch of black hats (although there are also a few of those in my extended network) but nonetheless, I’m really surprised at the way many of my friends approach observance. For the most part it seems that people pick one thing (keeping kosher or doing the minyan thing daily) but seem to willfully ignore other patterns of observance. In fact I’ve noticed that some people actually look for reasons to exclude other practices from daily or weekly life. I’ve got to admit that I’m having a hard time understanding why some of my friends are doing this. I’m not trying to say this in a judgmental sort of way or anything; it’s simply that I’m cognitively not getting it. Maybe it’s because I’m a Jew by choice or maybe it’s because I’ve done a non-Orthodox conversion and on some level I feel I need to make sure that I’m at least trying to cross my T’s and dot my I’s because it’s harder for me to be taken seriously in some circles. Who knows?

Since arriving here in Los Angeles I’ve found myself in several situations where I’m actually pushing gently nudging people (in a natural and organic kind of way - I hope) to lean into their observance a little more. Whether it’s wearing a Kippah outside of shul, walking on Shabbos (even if it?s really hot) or encouraging/supporting someone in finding ways to stay off the computer on a Saturday afternoon.

I don’t view the Mitzvot as binding so it’s not like I think people have to do everything in an or else kind of way. In fact one new insight I’ve gained since arriving in Los Angeles is that I seem to approach the Taryag Mitzvot more from a perspective of making a committed vow than I do from a place of submitting myself to a set of external commandments. I don’t want to go too deeply into this subject with this post because all of this is still being worked out in my mind and I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression, including myself LOL.

So anyhow I suppose what really gets me confused is how people seem to stay willfully ignorant of anything currently outside of their comfort zone observance wise. I know that I’m far from being mitzvah observant in any comprehensive sort of way but I certainly don’t look for ways to exclude new practices from my life. Unfortunately this is something that I have noticed in a few other people down here and I just don’t get it. I myself have worked extremely hard to change my way of thinking about Mitzvot from an attitude of pessimism and punishment to one of spiritual opportunity.

For example take Shabbos which is something I’ve really started to focus on since arriving in Los Angeles. At this point I’ve committed to giving up television, computers/Internet, audio books, telephone, spending money and driving (Unless we’re going to a shul or someone’s home for Shabbos which is just too far away to walk to - at this point anywhere I/we can walk to within an hour is doable at least according me) and to be honest there’s been next to no sense of loss over any of it. I said committed to giving up instead of “have given up” because I live with someone else that I think is having a harder time with this stuff than I am. So I’m trying (note I said trying which does not necessarily mean always pulling it off) to be somewhat flexible and gentle with all of this, albeit in a way that doesn?t make me feel like I’ve sold out my principles.

To be honest I really don’t feel like I’m giving anything up. In fact I increasingly feel like I’m making room for new things that would be impossible to have if I kept doing things the old way. When it comes to observance it’s really easy to come up with the reasons not to do something, O know this because I’ve done it myself many times. However it seems to me that as progressive (non-Orthodox) Jews who want and claim to be serious about our Jewish engagement, the onus is on us to go the full distance (and then some) when it comes to finding ways to make observance relevant because it is too easy to do just the opposite.

To my way of thinking the term “not binding” in no way equates irrelevant. So I suppose it’s just that I feel some of these people choose not to take on the responsibility of finding ways to make wider patterns of observance personally relevant, never mind actually becoming more observant! Its seems like the non-binding thing is just used as an excuse for too being lazy to intellectually engage with this stuff and IMO that’s not kosher (it’s not even kosher style).

I suppose that all of this is kind of funny in a sad sort of way because as I sit here typing this out what comes to mind is that many of us “progressive” Jews consider ourselves to be (in many ways) more evolved because we see ourselves as being much more “inclusive” than those “Orthodox” Jews. The ironically sad part of this is that although we struggle with and fight our own internal prejudices and bigotry in order to become ever more inclusive in terms of issues like sexual orientation or gender and race equality. Yet it would seem that many of us are exclusionists when it comes to Jewish tradition. Especially with regard to the Mitzvot and their potentially significant role in our spiritual development and understanding.

Anyhow I think I’ve rambled on long enough about this so until next time be well.

PS: The title was kind of meant as a joke because although I’m a Jew by choice who converted reform (apparently making me less Jewish and to some even not Jewish at all) I’m still much more frum than many of my friends who happen to be Jews by birth. I know, I’m witty and funny, you don’t need to tell me!

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