I’m going into this post, aggravated but with a sense of humor and so can laugh at the idea that for every one Jew, three opinions exist. Nonetheless this far into my conversion process and with the amount of integration I’ve had into my local Jewish community reform and beyond I might add. I think it’s time to speak my mind, and then move on from this topic and on to more important and productive things.

I was having a discussion with somebody recently, who mentioned to her Chabbad Rabbi that I was converting “Reform” and he told her a little story that went something like this (actually I am paraphrasing, but I think this is the just of the story)

You know, if you have a box and you call it a car it’s still a box. You can really believe your box is a car, in fact, you might even be able to find other people who agree with you that your box is indeed a car, but nonetheless, a box is a box, a car is a car, and they are not the same.

I don’t think it’s very hard to draw the conclusion that apparently I’m a box and not a Jew, or possibly I am really not a Jew, but rather an actor playing the role of a Jew on television.

Incidentally my frustration and aggravation here is not so much aimed at my friend, because I do feel that she honestly believes in me as a Jew and supports what I’m doing more and more every day. My frustration is aimed at this proprietary style rabbi, who is only going to present one side of the argument to her and that is his side of the argument. I can’t speak for all rabbis, but I would suspect that mine would give me his interpretation of things, and would also encourage me to go and find other sources of information so that I could develop an informed understanding of the issue. This is not something I think is going to take place with the Chabbad Rabbi and I find that woefully sad. As I see it he has a vested interest in doing the opposite, because from his point of view, no good (independent thought?) could come of it. Okay, that last sentence was assumptive on my part I don’t really know the rabbi, I don’t know what he would or would not do, but that is my knee-jerk gut reaction.

I’m a liberal, religious, and a spiritual individual who values my God-given intellect and I view it’s ongoing use as an essential mitzvah. I also accord the same freedom and responsibility to every other human being on the face of this planet. My ever evolving understanding and relationship with God is a personal one in which I am directly accountable to Her/Him/It and because of this notion of personal accountability I do not expect others to come to the same conclusions I have. I always try to respect an individuals spiritual autonomy even when I disagree with it, I do however, hope to receive the same in return and as you can see in this situation it’s going to be a problem.

I can’t abide by ignorance and blatant propaganda especially when it is directed towards me and the earnest effort I have made in my studies and transition towards God, Torah, and Judaism.

Within the context of the Orthodox prospective I do not expect to be seen as or recognized as being a Jew, although I think it’s unfortunate. I’m mature enough to accept that if I am looking for validation from such sources I probably shouldn’t be converting Reform. And I certainly don’t think their lack of respect or acknowledgment means I should retort by saying they’re not Jews or nothing more than backward matzah eating Amish types.

The truth of the matter is that I value the role that Orthodox communities have to play in maintaining the vibrantness of the Jewish people, but I also believe that such a role has inherent limitations which need to be addressed by other forms of Judaism (note: and the reverse also applies) I guess that I really don’t see Reform and Orthodox as being in competition, but rather as being complementary in the grander scheme of things. It is human foibles and arrogance on all sides of the issue that causes our problems, at least that’s how I see it.

Regardless, it is beyond me to solve this problem and I am happy to leave it to those who are more capable than myself, but when it comes to my own personal identity as a spiritual individual and member of the tribe I certainly don’t think I should sit back and just watch. And I do take issue when someone who doesn’t know me can sit back and form such profound opinions about who and what I am.

Of course I’m willing to respect his opinion, but not agree with it and I will allow room for it even if the other person is not capable of doing the same for me. The caveat to that is that I will only do it when I’m in their home or in their synagogue but outside of those two places, I will insist on respect, because I will always give respect.

So I suppose to set the record straight, not so much for anyone who reads this post, but more for my own sense of clarity and to mark my territory (which by the way has open borders all I ask is that people who enter try to respect me).

I am a Jew, a Reform Jew, so deal with your discomfort and feel free to take a long walk if you need one.

My conversion is a full conversion, I’m sorry you can’t see that, maybe it’s time for a new prescription, are your kosher glasses broken?

I am a Jew and the only person who’s going to decide whether I am less or more so than you or anyone else is Hashem. Sorry but last time I checked your not him, I’m a little bit confused here, did you think you were?

I do believe in God, with complete and total faith. So much so that I might be able to give the average Chabbad kid a run for his money.

I do believe completely in the Torah as a divine source of wisdom, and I also feel God believes in our ability to learn grow and change both as individuals in this life and as a peoplehood over the entirety of time.

Hey Rabbi, if you’re going to tell my friend, the what’s what about the defectiveness and un-Jewness of Reform, at least have the balls to move out of your comfort zone and explore the issue from all sides. After all God is really on your side and you have the truth, so why be afraid to send my friend to a legitimate reform source to get their perspectives? I know your more than happy to share your take on the reform thingy but if the roles where reversed, wouldn’t you want a chance to give your side of the story?

Oh by the way Rabbi I forgot to mention that last March at my “Reform” Temple we had a four-week intro to Kabbalah course presented by a lovely Chabbad Rabbi. I don’t think our “Reform” Rabbi had a problem inviting this guy (oops, I mean Chabbad Rabbi in to our temple), to share his take on something Jewish. Maybe it’s just me here, but don’t you find that open and friendly?
Hey, I’m just curious, but when is the last time you invited a Reform Rabbi to your synagogue, or maybe over for Shabbat dinner and a lovely discussion? I hear they’re quite excellent your Shabbat Friday dinners, I’m told you invite all sorts of nice young people, don’t you think mixing it up with you and our Reform rabbi would make for a pleasant evening?

But I suppose maybe that might be too uncomfortable for you and I think it’s a pity because from what my friend tells me you’re a very interesting and kind man. I know my rabbi is and I am sure the two of you would get along just so well. Here’s an idea, if you’re ever up my way, send me an e-mail, and maybe I can have you both over for Shabbat dinner, what do you say?

Lastly to anyone who questions the validity of something (in this case, let’s say a Reform Conversion) I’m not suggesting that you carte blanche except it as being valid but show a little initiative and flex your own intellectual abilities and seek answers, after all, how strong can your faith be, if you’re afraid to go outside of your comfort zone, isn’t that the real test?

Because I’m a sympathetic individual, I’ve put together a few links to help share the other side of the story on reform and conversion. I’m certainly not going to sugest that they are the most accurate and definitely they are not a great substitute for speaking to a real life in the flesh Reform Rabbi but that might be too uncomfortable for some of you, so I thought this might be gentler.

Is a Jew affiliated with Reform Judaism less “religious” than one affiliated with another movement?

Fallacy: Reform Jews choose practice based solely on convenience

Fallacy: Reform Conversions take no study, and are for convenience only

Fallacy: Reform Jews don’t care about Jewish ideals and principles.

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